\nFor some reason I keep getting journalists – print, radio, and TV – ringing me up and wanting my opinion on Everest – a mountain I\u2019ve never climbed on a continent I\u2019ve never visited.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to believe this is due to my position as a world class sounding board for the opinions of climbers, but really I put it down to a healthy google ranking and a website with my email address at the top.
\nNever the less:
\nEvery time someone dies my mobile rings.
\nEvery time there\u2019s another stunt my email pings.
\nEvery time someone finds a pair of Mallory\u2019s old underpants I\u2019m asked what this means for world mountaineering..
\nMy stock answer is to point out that I\u2019m a climber, and that Everest isn\u2019t a climb, but a walk.\u00a0 This usually gets the person at the other end a bit confused and flustered as they check their notes.\u00a0 \u201cYes\u201d I usually continue \u201cIf you have to step over a dead body half way up then it\u2019s classed as walk.\u00a0 On real climbs the bodies fall to the bottom\u201d.
\n\u201cWhat do you think about the recent deaths\u201d they continue, ignoring what I\u2019ve just said, their pen at the ready thinking that one more quote and they can file their copy.
\n\u201cOh dying is great – it\u2019s what it\u2019s all about\u201d I tell them \u201cit makes it all so much better when you don\u2019t\u201d.\u00a0 I explain the fact that every single summiteer will stress how \u2018undead\u2019 they are on their return (as well as in their book\/website\/TV doc voiceover), weighing their achievement by the number of \u2018proper dead\u2019 there were.\u00a0 Sure they\u2019ll speak to the BBC via sat phone and say what a tragedy it is, but deep down they love it – it makes it real – gives it that edge, like sucking on the barrel of loaded gun.\u00a0 If you summit in a year when no ones dies then you\u2019re forced to go back to 1996 and tell how eight people died in one day just to prove how \u2018undead\u2019 and hardcore you are.
\nI\u2019m told the figures for deaths on Everest are 1 in 10, which sounds bad until you consider the ratio between big fuck off scary mountain and clueless out of their depth tourist, and I expect if you dropped this bunch into Mosside the numbers would come out the same (if nothing more than the fact that walking around Manchester in a big yellow North Face down suit would lead to certain death via mugging).\u00a0 Death and the risk of it is the stock in trade of many modern adventurers (just read my book Psychovertical – I\u2019m nearly \u2018properdead\u2019 in every chapter!), be it rowing the oceans (very safe actually), skiing to the Poles (also very safe actually), or running across deserts (dito).\u00a0 Throughout all these things there is that Discovery channel voice booming along about how hardcore it is by pointing out how X people have died doing it.\u00a0 Well lots of people have died driving along the M1 but they don\u2019t write books about it (although the queue aren\u2019t as big as Everest).\u00a0 Of course no one wants to die – just give the impression they could (most Atlantic rowers have a support boat – the last few high profile polar trips had 4×4\u2019s following them).\u00a0 But then mountains are callous and don\u2019t care about your back story or dreams – or even how good you are.\u00a0 On everest the safety net that keeps your from the dead has very large holes, and the higher you get the bigger they become.
\nThese days when people get in touch my blunt answer to most questions about Everest thought is \u2018I don\u2019t give a fuck about Everest\u2019 and really no right minded person should either.\u00a0 Who really cares about the trash up there (have you ever been to India or Nepal where a rubbish dump is called \u2018the other side of your garden wall\u2019!).\u00a0 Who\u2019s bothered about the fixed ropes, pegs and bolts apart from those who see them and have to trust them?\u00a0 You can\u2019t rape a mountain you idiot, only an idea, and when that idea is simply \u201cX is higher than Y\u201d then who cares.\u00a0 What about exploiting the porters and the sherpas?\u00a0 Again have you ever been to a developing country and seen what lengths people will go to make a living?\u00a0 Most of the hand wringing by \u2018proper\u2019 climbers is all tied up with jealousy and the envy of opportunity, and everyone knows that deep down they\u2019d suck the devil\u2019s cock to climb it.
\nSo, if you\u2019re a lazy journo who\u2019s come across this bit of writing while doing your research then please don\u2019t get in touch (although I\u2019m happy for you to cut and paste whatever you like).
\n\u00a0
\nSource: Blog of Andy Kirkpatrick
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For some reason I keep getting journalists – print, radio, and TV – ringing me up and wanting my opinion on Everest – a mountain I\u2019ve never climbed on…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8066],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-51626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-boulder"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n